my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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