This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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