thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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