South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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