True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
