we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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