so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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