i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
