i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
