Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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