I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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