Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up under a house in Key West
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