Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
