i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
