What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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