Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
