i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
