Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
