I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
