i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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