okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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