Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
