So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
