member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
