Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need water and some morals
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
