can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me