all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever