dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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