I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
worst night to have a conscience
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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