I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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