His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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