Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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