I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
