I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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