He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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