Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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