I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
