No awkward lesbian experiences without me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
