Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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