If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
the raccoons are back...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
