omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
