well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
