I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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