If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
