If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
