he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We got so high we made milksteak
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
