if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
