im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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