He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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