Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
