I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
