it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
