Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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