Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
