good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
