Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
