You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
