maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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