Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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