I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm too high and old for this...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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