I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
