mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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