where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My feet surprised me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
