carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
