so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
